One of my boys called me recently, asking for a data subscription for their mi-fi. As the call was ending, he reminded me not to forget. Just as I was about to hang up, I heard his younger brother chime in, “Thank God you said that because my daddy forgets everything.” With that, they cheerfully said, “Bye Dad.”
After the call, I sat quietly, reflecting on that brief exchange. I realized I couldn’t overlook this moment. If they are sharp enough to notice and point out my forgetfulness, then surely, they are ready for conversations about responsibility, empathy, and thoughtfulness.
Without delay, I called them back.
“Hi Al-Ameen, I haven’t heard from you in days. The only time we spoke was yesterday through Grandma’s phone, but you’ve been talking to almost everyone else. Next time you reach out to someone – even if they have obligations to you – start by building a conversation. It’s important.”
As I spoke, I recalled their grandmother once telling me they hesitate to call because they assume I’m too busy and won’t answer, or that I’ll promise to call back but never do. That realization hit hard. I set aside my pride, acknowledged my fault, and stayed focused on the lesson I needed to share.
Al-Ameen paused, then softly replied, “I’m sorry, Daddy.” Just like that, the moment passed, but the seed of understanding had been planted.
It’s easy to overlook these small but essential details in life. We often receive calls from friends, family, or long-lost relatives who only reach out when they need attention, affection, or financial support. It starts from somewhere – the absence of meaningful conversations, the lack of genuine connection.
Marriage and parenting are full-time commitments. As parents, we are the first and most influential agents of socialization for our children. Conversations, no matter how brief, shape their understanding of relationships, respect, and empathy. We must never assume they are too young to grasp these lessons. They are always listening, watching, and learning – it’s our responsibility to guide them with intentionality and care.
Idris Animasaun
Architect and Social Change Advocate
