I recently stumbled upon a post where a popular musician admitted he’s not the “marriage type,” describing the endless stress and hassles as dealbreakers. To my surprise, countless men and women echoed his sentiments, expressing why they feel marriage simply isn’t worth the effort.
Over the years, I’ve watched and read countless stories, some of once-blissful unions that turned bitter, and others of peaceful separations where both parties accepted responsibility and gracefully transitioned into co-parents and even friends.
While the latter seems like a mature and amicable choice, the former often leaves a sour taste. I’ve often wondered, how does someone who once stood at the altar, pledging love and loyalty, suddenly opt out, only to become entangled as a side partner to another married person?
One thing we can all agree on, however, is that marriage is WORK. And not just any work, intentional, relentless, emotionally demanding work. Especially when the goal isn’t just to stay together but to build something that thrives.
So here’s the real question, shouldn’t we be celebrating those who remain in the trenches, putting in the effort day after day? Consider the weight of what it takes: sacrifice, communication, intimacy, conflict resolution, commitment, selflessness, forgiveness, trust, understanding, perseverance, the delicate threads that weave a lasting union.
As Dr. Gary Chapman once said, “Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice you make every day.” Marriage thrives on that choice, on the decision to keep showing up even when the spark dims or the road feels unbearably long.
Let’s be honest, marriage isn’t for the faint-hearted. It isn’t your mate, folks. Those who stay married, weathering storms and celebrating victories, deserve more than just quiet admiration, they deserve applause.
Idris Animasaun
Architect and Social Change Advocate
